New Health Care Bill Promises Millions of Americans Expanded Access to Coffins

US_Flag_BacklitWASHINGTON, D.C. – Legislators on Capitol Hill this week went to the American public to tout the way that their new health care bill will transform the health of a nation and re-invigorate an industry which is struggling in America… funeral homes. Congressmen explain that millions of healthy Americans have had medical insurance thrust upon them by Obamacare’s harsh expansions of healthcare coverage during the last 6 years and now do not have even basic access to the funeral home industry. These hard-working patriots have been cut off from things many people who remain happily uninsured take for granted — things like caskets, cremation services, and a decent funeral.

“People are tired of Capitol Hill politicians telling them they can’t get a coffin yet and forcing health insurance on them,” explained the bill’s creator, Ryan Paul (R-HI).

Republican senator, Buck Hudston (R-IA), explained that this new legislation will knock down the barriers standing between his constituents and a free and natural death.

“Too long have Washington bureaucrats inserted themselves into that sacred space between a patient and their mortician. Now a patient will be able to choose the mortician they want, earlier than they ever imagined, without Uncle Sam setting up a nanny state and delaying their access to the funeral home director that THEY choose.”

A report from the Congressional Budget Office optimistically estimates that the new healthcare proposal could allow nearly 24 million people to be set free from the fetters imposed by health insurance.

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