TOLEDO, OH – In a charming display of naiveté, a Toll House cookie dough container in Toledo made futile attempts this week to warn consumers NOT to eat raw cookie dough.
“It’s cute, really,” said college sophomore, Brad Birdgens, who had just finished his second helping of raw chocolate chip cookie dough at the time of our interview.
“I remember when I had such an innocent view of the world… thinking that people could be dissuaded from something so tempting… just because it might be dangerous.”
He, and probably many others like him this week, threw Toll House’s adorable admonition to the wind and embarked on a tasty game of playing chicken with fate. While he understands the risk of salmonella gastroenteritis from products made with raw eggs, he says that the cookie dough container should grow up and know better.
“People are people. And people don’t always make smart decisions,” explains Birdgens.
In fact, he says the cookie dough is partly to blame for the risks he’s taking.
“If I’m not supposed to eat it raw,” he remarked, “then they shouldn’t sell it raw. Trying to warn me away from it after it’s already in my fridge is like trying to put a label on cigarettes that it might be bad for me. It won’t work when I’ve got a craving.”