PHILADELPHIA – A firestorm erupted this week after a clinic at Blessed Merciful Sacred Heart Regional Medical Center (BMSHRMC) turned away an uninsured man named “Francis” from their Friday walk-in clinic.
“He just showed up expecting to get medical care for his bronchitis. Well, we ran his financial info and he didn’t have insurance. It turns out he’s not even a citizen of our country!” said front-desk worker Pat Shdiger.
“He was one of dozens of patients waiting in line that day, and it was weird. He kept going to the back of the line and letting other people ahead of him… so we knew something was up” said Shdiger.
Once Francis finally got to the registration desk, staff recognized that he did not have valid health insurance. The clinic politely informed him that if he could not meet the $85 up front charge to see a provider, he could not be seen that day. They told him if he got worse, he could go to the local ER.
“He had on a weird outfit; when he started trying to kiss people on the head in the waiting room, we had to have him escorted away.”
Once the clinic realized they had sent away the spiritual leader of the global Catholic church, they were extremely apologetic.
As a penance, the clinic has offered him a free flu shot and a Z-pack for his bronchitis.
“It’s funny really,” said clinic Director Mertin Prinkle. “If we had known he was the Pope and not just some regular uninsured sick person trying to get charity healthcare, we never would have sent him away like that!”
DISCLAIMER: All stories, quotations, medical reports, studies, and news entries are fictitious, created in the interest of humor. They are the creative work of the Daily Medical Examiner staff, and any relationship to actual events present or historical should be considered coincidental. The DME uses invented names for people, businesses, and institutions in its stories, except in cases where public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is coincidental.