HAY SPRINGS, NE – Earlier today, a local woman astounded her Facebook friends when she passed her 450th level on Candy Crush. Those Facebook friends would have been amazed to know that she achieved this feat of on-line gaming while simultaneously describing her “excruciating, 10 out of 10 back pain” to her local ED physician. This pain – so crippling that it can only be extinguished by intravenous dilaudid – could not extinguish her grip on her smartphone as she explained her misery to Dr. Grisenholder. With her eyes focused on the gleaming candy icons in front of her, she was able to recount the many medications that do not work for her back pain and also to explain the physiologic benefits of combining intravenous dilaudid with intavenous Benadryl.
Her facebook community was delighted to receive news of her accomplishment, along with an invitation for them to play on-line as well, but reports are circulating that Dr. Grisenholder was not as impressed with her success. He was not available for comment at the time of this report.