TROUTDALE, OR – 42 year-old Brince Streeter was disgusted during his primary care visit last week when he had to explain the nature and purpose of Astragalus Root to his Primary Care Physician, Alicia Humsboldt.
“I told her how I’ve been using Astragalus to improve my tissue oxygenation, and she just looks at me with this blank stare like she’s never heard of it before,” said Streeter.
While lacking in what skeptics call “scientific evidence,” the herb has been used in Chinese and Persian medicine for thousands of years and has been manufactured by OrganiNatureGreenCo for more than 8 months. A large factory in Taiwan has been painstakingly perfecting the ancient remedy by compounding Astragalus with calcium silicate, cellulose and a host of unidentifiable but very natural contaminants.
“I can’t believe this medicine isn’t even on her radar,” Mr. Streeter complained. “I read on-line that this herb is a big part of why the Chinese don’t get cancer.”
Dr. Humsboldt promised to look the product up on the internet for more information after their visit, but Streeter was not impressed.
“She goes on and on about reducing my cholesterol and blood pressure, but she doesn’t know a single thing about the state of my radical ions and the levels of acid residue inside my cells. What are they even teaching doctors in medical school?!”
Dr. Humsboldt, who was a chief resident in her Internal Medicine program two years ago, was not available for comment.
Streeter is waiting for his next appointment to further discuss the merits of Astragalus with his doctor, but he remains dedicated to taking his herbal supplements and to continuing his weekly trips to the Lilac Center for DNA Healing. He admits that he takes the cholesterol medication prescribed by Dr. Humsboldt only intermittently.
“I’m just not convinced that this statin medicine is natural enough for my body. I’m looking for a new doctor – one who gets my approach to medicine; it’s hard though because none of my herbologist doctors have admitting privileges at the local hospital.”