Former Football Star: “Head Injurings Not Too Badly”

Original photo by Nick Manning


Original photo by Nick Manning

DALLAS, TX – Former Texas Vaqueros minor league football star, Mack Blashing, has come out to publicly scoff at the growing concern about head injuries in professional sporting.  He’s lending his star power to a growing movement which says that people should stop worrying about cranial trauma and enjoy the game.

“I’m scary try a ball wait,” he said publicly last Friday with a chuckle.  His professional agent, who was close by to assist with communication, offered this summary of Blashing’s views:

“Mr. Blashing says that he sees absolutely no harm in the chronic concussive injuries being publicized in recent years.  He sees deep flaws in the rigor of recent medical studies which suggest harm.”

“Floored a guy met yesterday,” smiled the stocky Blashing as he nodded in assent.

Since his retirement from minor league football, Blashing, a former Rhodes scholar, has had a successful career in manufacturing.  His job is to attach the factory inspection sticker onto each iPotty that comes off of the assembly line.  While his start on the job was a bit rocky as he learned the intricacies of his craft, he has adapted well and is described by his supervisors as “adequate for the task assigned.”

“Mack Blashing is an inspiration to all of us and a testament to the safety of professional sports,” said his agent.

For standing up for truth and the American way of life, Mack Blashing is this week’s DME Health Hero.

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DISCLAIMER: All stories, quotations, medical reports, studies, and news entries are fictitious, created in the interest of humor. They are the creative work of the Daily Medical Examiner staff, and any relationship to actual events present or historical should be considered coincidental. The DME uses invented names for people, businesses, and institutions in its stories, except in cases where public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is coincidental.

One thought on “Former Football Star: “Head Injurings Not Too Badly”

  1. Pingback: Coaches say Tony Romo really making tracks with new walker | the Daily Medical Examiner

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