5K Run for Depression Cancelled Due to Lack of Interest

Original photo by Christopher Mazzoli


Original photo by Christopher Mazzoli


CLEVELAND, OH – Next week’s planned 5K run to benefit the Society for Alleviation of Depression (SAD) was cancelled on Monday due to lackluster response from Society members. A total of 3 of the association’s 600 members signed up last month, and event organizers said it just wasn’t worth the effort.

“What good would it have done, really?” said a tearful event chairwoman, Michelle Kliager, “Nothing will ever change.”

Chuck Multzer, one of the participants who did sign up, wasn’t that surprised by the cancellation.

“I didn’t think it would amount to much; nobody actually cares about the society or about depression…it’s my own fault for even letting myself get interested in it,” he sighed as he stared blankly at the mail-out announcement. “I’m just no good for anything.”

When the Society learned that the run had been cancelled, most members responded with detached defeatism.

“I can’t even remember a time when a run like this ever did anything for anyone,” mumbled Caroline Listling.

Those who are interested in participating in next year’s run should keep their calendars open.

“Yeah, I guess we’ll talk about it next year…if there is a next year. I just can’t imagine having the energy to go through all of this again,” said Chairwoman Kliager.

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DISCLAIMER: All stories, quotations, medical reports, studies, and news entries are fictitious, created in the interest of humor. They are the creative work of the Daily Medical Examiner staff, and any relationship to actual events present or historical should be considered coincidental. The DME uses invented names for people, businesses, and institutions in its stories, except in cases where public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is coincidental.

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