Study Finds 98% of Toddlers Against Routine Immunization

Photo by roxinasz

Photo by roxinasz

VISTACREST, CO – It appears parents aren’t the only ones worried about the effects of aggressive vaccination schedules in Western medicine.  A new study published this week in the Journal of Alternative Immunotherapy suggests that nearly 98% of children aged 2-3 are strongly opposed to the current practice of routine childhood vaccination.

The study was elegant in both its scope and simplicity.  Over 12,000 randomly selected children aged 24 to 36 months were allowed to see the standard injection device and then asked, “Do you want to get a shot?”  An astounding 98% of respondents expressed preference against routine immunization.  After watching a five minute educational video about the possible role of vaccination in public health, nearly all of those surveyed re-affirmed their initial position as opposed to vaccination.  In a follow-up, post-immunization survey (“Would you like another shot?”), nearly 100% said that they would decline future immunizations.

While the world of pediatric medicine grapples with the study’s implications, many children are crying out for a moratorium on further injections while the evidence is reviewed.

For additional coverage of the ongoing controversy regarding childhood immunization, see “New Study Links Childhood Vaccinations to Bad Manners Later in Life.”  As always, the DME remains your source for the latest in medical research and groundbreaking discoveries.


DISCLAIMER: All stories, quotations, medical reports, studies, and news entries are fictitious and fabricated for the purpose of satire.  Any relationship to actual events present or historical should be considered coincidental. The DME uses invented names for people, businesses, and institutions in its stories, except in cases where public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is coincidental.

2 thoughts on “Study Finds 98% of Toddlers Against Routine Immunization

  1. I’m sorry but what 3 year old is going to say “yes, I want a shot?” and why did this study show kids an “educational video” on vaccination? Were they actually hoping that the kids would change their minds? lol It’s hard enough to convince parents these days that vaccinations are good for their kids, let alone kids. What was this study trying to accomplish exactly?

    • Thanks for reading our story! Yes, you very insightfully point out that there may be problems with asking people who wear diapers to make public health decisions. This is a satire website (entirely fictional), so I hope that the NIH isn’t actually putting taxpayer money into something like this. Hope you had a nice laugh while you study…Good luck with the USMLE. – The DME, Senior Editor-in-Chief

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