Sloppy Oregon Neurosurgeon Skips 12-Point Review of Systems

Photo by Donald Cook


Photo by Donald Cook

PORTLAND, OR – Horror and indignation filled the Oregon medical community late last week when allegations emerged that during a routine pre-operative visit for upcoming spine surgery, veteran neurosurgeon Christopher Bradfordlen did not complete the full 12-point review of systems which he documented in his note from that day.  Closed circuit television cameras caught his remarkably abridged history and physical which took a total of 7 minutes.  In addition to skimming through important portions of the family and sexual history, his physical exam was limited, to say the least, and did not include abdominal percussion or any attempt to judge the size of the liver by palpation.

67 year-old Midge Bluetrace of nearby Beaverton had no idea that the man she had entrusted to perform intricate surgery on her body would be so egregiously negligent.

“He didn’t ask about my menses – which haven’t occurred in 17 years, by the way – and he definitely didn’t get into my seasonal allergies, which can be really terrible when the ragweed gets kicked up.  I thought he might look in my throat, but he took one glance at my spine and then was out the door.”

“I knew him in medical school; he spent four years playing beer pong and asking to share other people’s lecture notes, so I’m really not that surprised,” said area internist, Mike D’cagglio.  “Plus one time he sprayed formaldehyde on me in anatomy lab.”

Dr. Bradfordlen’s office could not be reached for comment, but the Daily Medical Examiner will keep you updated as events develop.

—————————–

DISCLAIMER: All stories, quotations, medical reports, studies, and news entries are fictitious – created in the interest of humor. They are the ripe and, sometimes, rotten fruit borne from the imagination of the Daily Medical Examiner creative staff, and any relationship to actual events present or historical should be considered coincidental. The DME uses invented names for people, businesses, and institutions in its stories, except in cases where public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is coincidental.

Share your thoughts with the DME...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s