MS3’s Enthusiasm Disgusts Entire Surgical Team

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CALEDONIA, ND – This week, the halls of University of Eastern North Dakota Medical Center (UENDMC) were ablaze with talk about 3rd year medical student Kathleen Kritcher, whose passion for medicine is really starting to rub people the wrong way on her Surgery rotation.

“I’m so sick of her. She keeps saying that everything is “amazing,” and I’m telling you, once you’ve seen two gallbladders taken out, it’s not amazing anymore. The gallbladder’s just a sack of rocks in the belly waiting to get infected in the middle of the night,” said fellow third year medical student Sarah Gardenbloom.

It’s not just fellow medical students who are turned off by her zeal.

“If I have to hear one more time about how she wants to be a Pediatric Oncologist, I think I’m going to tear out my own pancreas and hurl it across the room,” said fourth year General Surgery resident Frederick Hedstettler. “Why is it people think making little kids throw up and have their hair fall out is the noblest thing you could ever do?!”

Kritcher, who remains completely oblivious to the influence that her smoldering medical ardor is having on colleagues, continues to volunteer to hold the surgical retractors at every opportunity and to share aloud her plans for a free children’s cancer center in rural Mongolia.

Her surgical attending, Dr. Myra Udger, MD, FACS, voices her own annoyance, but feels confident that with time, a mature sense of bitterness and disillusionment will take hold.

“We see these overzealous students from time to time; thankfully, the medical system we have in place to train doctors is remarkably efficient in terms of bringing most trainees into a healthy state of pessimism that will sustain them for a lifetime of medical practice.”

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