2012 Geriatrics Conference Ends in Violence


Photo by Jari Aho

MEADOWTON, VT – A quiet, bed-and-breakfast town in Vermont got a rude introduction to the gritty and sometimes tempestuous world of Geriatrics this week when the 2012 National Academy of Geriatrics conference turned ugly.  A seemingly harmless debate about management of inpatient delirium that broke out in one of the afternoon plenary sessions quickly escalated into an unfettered riot after several outspoken conference-goers engaged in a heckling match with the keynote speaker.  The violence poured out of the Regency Bay Conference center and into the streets of Meadowton, where frenzied geriatricians overturned cars, harangued passersby, and looted several nearby store fronts.

Mayor Wilma Addlebury and other residents were initially terrified and later disgusted by the behavior of these physicians, whose reputation for such behavior has now been well-established in most of central New England.  After nearly seven hours of terror in the streets of Meadowton, local law enforcement and firefighters were finally able to bring the melee under control, extinguishing several car fires started in the wake of the violence.

“We have asked them not to come back to our town ever again,” said Mayor Addlebury as city services began the effort of cleaning up after the raucous geriatricians.

In an effort to smooth public relations, the National Academy of Geriatrics has issued a formal apology as well as a $50 voucher toward Mayor Addlebury’s next preventative health maintenance visit.

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DISCLAIMER:  All stories, medical reports, news entries, and commentary are fictitious, created in the interest of humor.  They are the ripe and sometimes rotten fruit borne from the fecund imagination of the Daily Medical Examiner creative staff, and any actual relationship to events present or historical should be considered coincidental.  The DME uses invented names for people, businesses, and institutions in its stories, except in cases where public figures are being satirized.  Any other use of real names is coincidental.

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